Survive tomorrow without using, hearing or reading the phrase "Royal Wedding", and without using or hearing the names "Kate" or "William".
Total Success = 1000 points
Partial Success* = 500 points
*see definition under "deductions" section
Bonus points for:
If you/your partner's name is "Kate" (400/200points)
If you/your partner's name is "William" (300/150points)
If your name is "Kate Williams" and you're a royal historian (700+1000 = 1700points)
(In case any of the above applies, use other diminutives for that day. Phone, text and email friends now and instruct them to call you Kathy, Katherine, Bill etc as of today)
Switching on the television (200points)
Listening to the radio (100points. Add extra 100points if UK station. Add further 100points if BBC)
Buying a newspaper (400points)
Going abroad and telling people you're from the UK (200points. Add extra 500points if visiting the US)
Speaking to an American tourist (400points)
Using public transport in Central London (200points. Add extra 50points if the Northern Line, deduct 100points for using the District Line. These are my rules so go figure.)
Wearing headphones (-100points. Detract further 300points if using headphones in the vicinity of a television or radio or other communication device that is switched on. This only applies if you're not using the headphones to listen to a television/radio broadcast)
Wearing a blindfold (-100points)
Not leaving your home tomorrow (-200points)
Not answering the phone or the door (-50points per instance)
Humming/singing loudly to yourself when in public (-200points)
Hearing, reading or using the word "royal", or any variant - eg "royalty" etc (-300points)
Hearing, reading or using the word "wedding", or any variant/synonym - eg "marriage", "nuptials" etc (-300points)
The above deductions refer to the first instance the word is employed. Thereafter, for each subsequent occasion, 50points are to be deducted, per word
If the phrase "Royal Wedding" or "Kate" or "William" is used, heard or read at any point tomorrow by participants, you cannot claim full 1000 points.
In the first instance, 500 points will be deducted.
Upon each subsequent violation, 100 points are to be deducted.
Good luck and God Save the Queen!